Download E-books The Ugly Joke Book PDF

By Milt Rosen

E-book via Rosen, Milt

Show description

Read Online or Download The Ugly Joke Book PDF

Similar Comedy books

The Mental Floss History of the World: An Irreverent Romp Through Civilization's Best Bits

Pop quiz! Who stated what approximately background? historical past is . . . (a) kind of bunk. (b) a nightmare from which i'm attempting to wake up. (c) as completely contaminated with lies as a highway whore with syphilis. fit your solutions: (1) Stephen Daedalus of James Joyce's Ulysses (2) Henry Ford (3) Arthur Schopenhauer It seems that the reply don't need to be bunk, nightmarish, or diseased.

The Amateurs: A Novel

“Brilliant. ” —GQ "Hilarious. ” — the days (London) “A novel approximately golfing that's not simply hilarious, yet gripping, attractive, violent, and outrageous. . . . Niven combines his more and more strange plots, and a few surprising habit, with enormous ability and, after all, huge helpings of humor. ” — The replicate From Kill your pals writer John Niven, The Amateurs is a side-splitting and whip-smart exam of golfing, infidelity, and the way little white balls make a few males insane.

The Hero's Guide to Storming the Castle

Your favourite princes and princesses are again within the hilarious and action-packed sequel to the breakout hit The Hero's advisor to Saving Your state via writer Christopher Healy, which the hot York instances chosen as one in all its top books of the 12 months. Prince Liam. Prince Frederic. Prince Duncan. Prince Gustav.


Puckoon is Spike Milligan's vintage slapstick novel, reissued for the 1st time because it was once released in 1963. "Pops with the erratic brilliance of a clumsy fit in a field of fireworks". (Daily Mail). In 1924 the Boundary fee is tasked with growing the recent reputable department among Northern eire and the Irish Republic.

Extra info for The Ugly Joke Book

Show sample text content

A purchaser got here in for a sandwich and stared on the busboy. The busboy grew to become a bit fearful and requested the guy why he was once staring. the fellow responded, "About two decades in the past whilst i used to be out the following within the west, I made like to a buffalo one evening. i used to be considering should you should be my child. " . "' while she went to a dance, rather than being a wallflower, she was once a wall weed . for a very long time, she felt she was once gruesome. someone informed her to turn into extra confident. Now she's confident she's grotesque. 6UOJM 8LH paJadB! P A84l S4lUOW ·pua XIS lSJ! J 841 JOJ ' UJOq SBM 84S U84M Aj6n OS SBM 84S A guy used to be forged adrift and at last ended up on ~ abandoned island. For fifteen years, he used to be with no the companionship of a lady. in the future he chanced on a bottle. Taking a bit of fabric from his blouse he scribbled a observe, sealed it within the bottle, and threw it in , the sea. The bottle drifted for 5 years and used to be eventually picked up by means of a really gruesome girl. as the be aware appeared so pressing, she employed a yacht and headed for that island. She awarded herself to the lonesome castaway. "Here I am," she stated. " I obtained your message. " The castaway checked out her. "It should have come from that subsequent island. " * She used to be so grotesque, she wasn't indexed in who is Who. She was once indexed in what is that? She continuously went round with a chip on her shoulder-her head. "With her seems she might move a ways. " "Why does not she? " .. . " I listen your spouse went round braless the opposite day. " "She definitely did. " "Did you see something? " "Her neck straightened out. " " She felt a lump in her breast. It was once her shoe. " A peeping tom seemed in her window one evening and tomorrow despatched her funds for drapes. .. ·s! a4s t\16n M04 ual tue::> t\a41.. .. 1. -A4M .. .. ·salBP PU! Iq Sa. I\OI a4s .. His spouse was once, to place it m ildly, unattractive. yet he 'd been taught that it is what is beneath that counted. So he carried one among her x-rays in his pockets. * * " i am gonna marry an unsightly woman, simply because a handsome woman might run away. " " an unpleasant woman may run away. " " Yeah , yet who may care? " ~ " i am going down day after today to get a puppy for my_wife. " " in the event you could make it, that is an exceptional exchange. " She used to be so grotesque, she lit up a room while she left it. girls like her do not develop on bushes. They swing from them . • She was once born twins, yet her mom should have thrown the great one away. • • at some point she went to a bar. whilst she sat down, 5 men took the pledge. She had bobbed hair. On her chin . " My spouse is an expensive. and that i cannot watch for the looking season to begin. " He took his woman to the zoo, however the zoo would not settle for her. * .. .. "I listen your grotesque sister received married. " "Yup. " "Who's the fortunate guy? " "My father. " .. ~ She consistently saved her mouth closed. She was once afraid they might placed an apple in it. a truly gruesome woman lucked into marriage with a good-looking younger guy. Her father was once so thankful, he informed the son-in-law, "I have fun with what you probably did and that i love you for it. to teach you the way i believe , i'll offer you half my enterprise. And is there anything i will be able to do for you? " ·slOP a1.. n l~auuo~ ~Bid p(no~ ~a4_t ·Ja4 paAO( spl)!

Rated 4.16 of 5 – based on 10 votes