Download E-books Comedy Quote Dictionary, The PDF

A set of greater than thousand jokes, epigrams, and one-liners from greater than 600 of the funniest comedians and writers of the 20th century contains the paintings of Rodney Dangerfield, Will Rogers, Judy Tenuta, and others. 20,000 first printing.

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Good, he did-and he received 3 thousand funds. " "My goodness! " "Then he guess all of it at the subsequent roll of the cube and he misplaced. " "What? He misplaced all of the cash? " "That's correct! " "That bum! He may still drop useless! " "He did . " VICTOR BORGE BEl\NY RUBIN black, even up. i will win anything prior to i am going to sleep. And the fellow spun the ball and it fell at the ground. llll. L COSBY i was a heavy gambler. yet now I simply make psychological bets. that is how I misplaced my brain. STEVE ALLEN Mr. Goldfarb could not withstand temptation. He bought right into a cube online game one evening. As every body watched, the loser changed into a winner. ! lis success saved retaining, and he used to be up through 3 thousand cash. He determined to make one final bet-and misplaced every thing. The surprise was once so nice he had a center assault and dropped lifeless. the opposite males round the desk needed to determine playing is a fashion of having not anything for whatever. WILSON MIZNER Bookie: A pickpocket who permits you to use your personal fingers. IIEJ'IIRY MORCA. 'II ,,, GERMANS G~ we bought him clear of the computing device gun .. . His concept of a great time is a pressured march to Milwaukee. DONAOMIS My husband is German. final evening I dressed up as Poland and he invaded me. OETfE ~! loafer Germany is a bit sullen. it truly is grey, unsatisfied. i believe the massive wish for Germany is that if Ted Turner might purchase it and colour it. G~oam My grandfather used to make domestic videos and edit out the enjoyment. RICIIARD LEWIS BILLYCRYSTAL I consume at this German-Chinese eating place and the nutrients is scrumptious. the single challenge is that an hour later you are hungry for energy. I say keep away from the depressing humans, simply because distress does love corporation. simply examine a Ay strip. You by no means see a Ay caught there asserting, "Go round! move round! " DICKCAVEIT MARGARET SMITI I i am part Jewish-and my spouse is part German. on the marriage ceremony my spouse was once so fearful her monocle saved falling off. after which after the marriage my aspect of the kinfolk signed the marriage book-and her facet of the relatives burned it . . . no longer the marriage booklet . . . They burned my facet of the famil y. The reception used to be nice. Her father used to be loads of laughs as soon as The meek shall inherit the earth. they may not have the nerve to refuse it. 112 JACKIE VERNON I made really a reputation for mysel f again domestic. I left while i discovered out what it used to be. IIERO SHRINER My pal concept he used to be now not gonna make it. Then he all started G zero zero considering confident. Now he is optimistic he is not gonna make it. BROTIIER SAM~1Y SIIORE I took up a suite for a guy in our workplace. yet I didn 't get adequate cash to shop for one. RUTII BUZZI mcnt can be the happiest in my lifestyles. The very considered it made him depressing. SPIKE MILLIGAN GoJ llappiness isn't really anything you adventure. it truly is anything you take into accout. author: A comic whose viewers is afraid to giggle . OSCAR LEVANT II L MENCKEJ'II In highschool my mom and dad instructed me I ran with the inaccurate crowd. i used to be a loner. And God appeared down and observed that the land and the folks have been undesirable. If he did not glance down rather a lot, probably issues may choose up. JEFF SIIAW i'll commence residing inside my ability.

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