Download E-books Mark Twain's Library of Humor (Modern Library Humor and Wit) PDF

By Mark Twain, Roy Blount Jr.

Starting with the piece that made Mark Twain famous--"The infamous leaping Frog of Calaveras County"--and finishing along with his fanciful "How I Edited an Agricultural Paper," this treasure trove of an anthology, an abridgment of the 1888 unique, collects twenty of Twain's personal items, as well as tall stories, fables, and satires by means of forty-three of Twain's contemporaries, together with Washington Irving, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Ambrose Bierce, William Dean Howells, Joel Chandler Harris, Artemus Ward, and Bret Harte.

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Tis a merry roar From the previous barn-door, And he hears the voice of Jotham crying, “Say, D’rius! how de yeou like flyin’? ” Slowly, ruefully, the place he lay, Darius simply became and appeared that method, As he stanched his sorrowful nostril along with his cuff. “Wall, i love flyin’ good enough,” He acknowledged; “but the’ ain’t sich a thunderin’ sight O’ enjoyable in’t while ye come to mild. ” ethical. I simply have room for the ethical the following: And this is often the moral—Stick for your sphere. Or, should you insist, as you've the precise, On spreading your wings for a loftier flight, the ethical is—Take care the way you mild. PLUMBERS CHARLES DUDLEY WARNER talking of the philosophical mood, there isn't any type of fellows whose society is extra to be wanted for this caliber than that of plumbers. they're the main agreeable males i do know; and the men within the enterprise start to be agreeable very early. i think the key of it truly is, that they're agreeable by way of the hour. within the dryest days my fountain grew to become disabled: the pipe was once stopped up. a number of plumbers, with the implements in their craft, got here out to view the location. there has been a great deal of distinction of opinion approximately the place the stoppage was once. i discovered the plumbers completely prepared to take a seat and discuss it—talk by way of the hour. a few of their guesses and feedback have been quite inventive; and their common observations on different topics have been very good of their approach, and will not often were higher in the event that they have been made through the task. The paintings dragged a little—as it truly is apt to do by means of the hour. The plumbers had get together to make me numerous visits. occasionally they might locate, upon arrival, they had forgotten a few integral software, and one could return to the store, a mile and a part, after it, and his better half could wait for his go back with the main exemplary persistence, and take a seat and talk—always via the hour. i don't understand however it is a behavior to have anything sought after on the store. They appeared to me first-class workmen, and continuously prepared to forestall and speak about the task, or the rest, while I went close to them. Nor had they any of that impetuous hurry that's stated to be the bane of our American civilization. To their credits be it acknowledged, that I by no means saw something of it in them. they could have the funds for to attend. of them will occasionally wait approximately part an afternoon whereas a comrade is going for a device. they're sufferer and philosophical. it's a nice excitement to satisfy such males. One simply needs there has been a few paintings he may possibly do for them by means of the hour. There should be reciprocity. i believe they've got almost solved the matter of existence: it's to paintings for folks, by no means for your self, and get your pay by way of the hour. then you definately haven't any anxiousness, and little paintings. in the event you do issues via the activity you're eternally pushed: the hours are scourges. when you paintings via the hour, you lightly sail at the flow of Time, that is constantly bearing you directly to the haven of Pay, no matter if you are making any attempt or no longer. operating by way of the hour has a tendency to make one ethical. A plumber operating via the activity, attempting to unscrew a rusty, refractory nut in a cramped place, the place the tongs continuously slipped off, might swear; yet I by no means heard one in every of them swear, or convey the least impatience at this kind of vexation, operating through the hour.

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