By Ted L. Nancy
Who is Ted L. Nancy?
He's a involved lodge visitor trying to find a misplaced tooth...
He's a superstitious Vegas high-roller who desires to gamble at a on line casino in his fortunate shrimp outfit...
He's the genius inventor of "Six Day Underwear"...
He's a not easy dramatist looking an viewers for his play approximately his 26-year-old puppy, Cinnamon...
He's the proud proprietor of Charles, a 36-year-old cat who owes his sturdiness to a dog food company...
He's a devoted fan of the King of Tonga...
He is, in truth, a twisted prankster -- a supremely off-kilter adjust ego who sends patently ridiculous letters and queries to (and gets unusually earnest responses again from) company honchos, leisure conglomerates, nationwide courses, politicians, celebrities and heads of nation to each person, in truth, from the president of the Bon Ami purifier corporation to U.S. vice chairman Al Gore.
Letters From A Nut is an insanely encouraged, actually madcap selection of Nancy correspondence, a laugh-out-loud-in-public-places aggregation of legit -- and formally certifiable -- requests, proceedings, fan mail and questions that can no longer probably were taken seriously...but, amazingly, have been!
Dear Mr. Nancy:"It isn't usually that we obtain such enthusiastic aid for the paper bag." --The Paper Bag Council
"On behalf of Greyhound, there can be no challenge touring whereas on your butter costume." --Greyhound Bus Lines
"I wait for operating with you to create a greater destiny for this nice nation." -- vp Al Gore
"An never-ending movement of a few of the main hilarious exchanges i have ever learn. each person I lent this booklet to simply learn it and laughed out loud like I did. it is so easy, but completely creative. i am convinced a few kind of mail fraud fees may be delivered to cease this guy yet, individually, i am hoping they by no means seize him." --Jerry Seinfeld
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Additional info for Letters from a Nut
6670751L 560 No. Moorpark Rd. #236 Thousand Oaks, CA 91360 Public family college OF TEXAS SAN ANTONIO 6900 North Loop 1604 West San Antonio, TX 78249 Jan thirteen, 1996 pricey collage Of Texas, i used to be instructed to put in writing to you approximately confirming my Feb 21, 1996 talking engagement at your collage. allow me introduce myself. i'm eight toes three inches tall and practice as Topps The slim titanic. i've been with the circus for part a century. I speak at faculties and conventions (limited to those simply) approximately my circus reports. (Will now not discuss kitchen incident). I played for over 8 years as Topps the Shoeless immense. years as Topps The Heavy sizeable. three hundred and sixty five days as Topps the Stumbling great. i'll discuss that. i used to be with ecu, Bahamian, and Canadian circuses. i've got played earlier than the King Of Tonga, His Majesty King Taufa'Ahau Tupou IV. and i've Palace desk bound. We inspiration we had shared a similar handle. a few humans name me a Lou Rawls glance alike. I communicate opposed to the perils of undesirable residing; army dwelling. Cigar store residing. i'm open approximately all my reviews. I carry not anything again. during this speak you pay attention a frank and candid account of the circus and carnival lifestyles, as ailing because it is. i believe i'm an schooling for college kids and academics, and all alike. it's a ninety minute speak by means of questions about what it was once prefer to be a circus performer, an enormous, very skinny, very heavy, a marijuana addict, conjugal visits, an alcoholic (Schnapps), and a telemarketer. the controversy is particularly unique, sprinkled with colourful reminiscences. There aren't any expletives! I do make one (1) foul gesture, yet merely as a part of a narrative. Please write and allow me comprehend if the Feb 21 date is proven, as i used to be informed. I additionally want to know approximately exposure. thanks greatly. My mailing tackle is 560 No. Moorpark Rd. #236 Thousand Oaks, CA 91360. Respectfully, Ted L. Nancy Topps The narrow tremendous The collage of Texas * San Antonio pupil actions UTSA January 22, 1996 Ted L. Nancy 560 No. Moorpark Rd. #236 Thousand Oaks, CA 91360 pricey Mr. Nancy; i'm writing in line with the letter I obtained from you on January 19, 1996, which asked affirmation for a functionality via Tops The narrow immense at the UTSA campus on Februaiy 21, 1996. the coed actions place of work of UTSA by no means shriveled for this software, and doesn't verify the engagement at our college. when you've got any longer questions, please be at liberty to touch me at (210) 691-4160. thanks, Brenda Bellamy software Coordinator ^ 6900 North Loop 1604 West • San Antonio, Texas 78249-0683 • (210) 691-4160 • (210) 691-4734 fax 560 No. Moorpark Rd. #236 Thousand Oaks, CA 91360 12/14/95 Promotions workplace MINNESOTA TWINS 501 Chicago Ave. South Minneapolis, MN 55415 expensive Minnesota Twins, i need to be your mascot - THE MINNESOTA dual. I pop out and i've a mechanical "twin" that duplicates each circulate I do. humans like it! I dance round, flow approximately, run, cease, commence, tumble. The mechanical dual makes each flow I do. i'll input the sphere throughout the seventh inning stretch or simply flail round at the sidelines among pitches.