By Larry Flynt
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Pop quiz! Who acknowledged what approximately historical past? background is . . . (a) roughly bunk. (b) a nightmare from which i'm attempting to wake up. (c) as completely contaminated with lies as a highway whore with syphilis. fit your solutions: (1) Stephen Daedalus of James Joyce's Ulysses (2) Henry Ford (3) Arthur Schopenhauer It seems that the reply don't need to be bunk, nightmarish, or diseased.
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The boy requested. "Making a puppy," his father answered. Later that evening, Jimmy handed his mom and dad' bed room and stuck them in the midst of intercourse. "Hey, Pop," he referred to as. "What's happening now? " "Well, we are making you a child brother," his father replied. "Well, turn her round then," stated Jimmy. "I'd really have a dog. " 232 Q: What are hands to a bulimic? A: Dessert. 233 The HUSTLER Dictionary defines rib-tickler as: a vibrator shoved in method too deep. HUSTLER'S DIRTIEST J zero KES 103 234 Q: What do you name a leper in a sizzling bath? A: Stew. 2:J5 ''Eureka! " Professor Vrusho exclaimed. "I've invented an apple that tastes like pussy! " With nice enthusiasm, he provided his colleague Dr. Verilla a pattern. Verilla took one chunk and spit it out in disgust. "This apple tastes like shit! " he hollered. "Indeed," stated Professor Vrusho, beaming. "Turn it round. " 236 The HusTLER Dictionary defines cocktail occasion as: an affair the place a guy will get stiff, a lady will get tight, they usually go back domestic to discover that nor is both. 237 Dave rushed to his urologist in nice ache. "Doctor," he defined, "my whole genital sector is pink, itchy and infected. " interpreting him, the medic requested, "Do you've gotten intercourse along with your spouse usually? " HUSTLER'S DIRTIEST JOKES 104 . an afternoon " Dave spoke back, " and 3 t'un "Twtce ' es on " weeken ds. "What approximately girlfriends? " the document inquired. "I have two," Dave confessed, "and i've got intercourse With . " all of them the ttme. "Well, i feel your difficulties are hooked up to all that extensive sexual touch. " "Oh, superb! i assumed it used to be simply because I mastur. bated an excessive amount of! " 2311 Q: How do you utilize a condom two times? A: You tum it within out and shake the fuck out of it. 239 younger boys tore far and wide city in a go-cart that was once being pulled through a puppy. A policeman ultimately stopped them and ruined their enjoyable. "Boys, this can be very cruel," he stated, slicing the rope that used to be tied round the dog's neck. He then spotted a moment twine wrapped round the mutt's testicles. "My goodness! " the officer exclaimed. "It' s worse than i assumed! " "Shit! " the boy in entrance stated to his friend. "There is going our overdrive! " HUSTLER'S DIRTIEST JOKES / 05 240 A Russian, a Jamaican, an American and a Mexican chanced on themselves on a rafting excursion. As they paddled downriver, the Russian opened a bottle of vodka, took one gulp and tossed the remainder overboard. "What did you do this for? '' the shocked American requested. "In my country," the Russian defined, "vodka is so ample, we will come up with the money for to waste it. " a piece later, the Jamaican lit up a big joint, took a number of puffs at the marijuana after which tossed it over the aspect. "Hey," the yank exclaimed. "that stuff is dear. " "Ganja grows so abundantly in my country," the Jamaican instructed him, "we can come up with the money for to waste it. " the yankee sat again and suggestion demanding for a second. Then he stood up and threw the Mexican into the nver. 241 The HusTLER Dictionary defines protein as: a hooker less than the age of 20. 242 Sam was once feeling attractive one evening, so he reached over to his spouse, Doris.